Why Adopt? [2 Years Later]

Paul and I were recently asked to speak to a church about our adoption process. Naturally, we took some time to reflect on what we would say and we are so glad we had this unexpected opportunity to do so. By taking time to think about the whys of adopting and taking time to look back at our journey so far was very rewarding for the both of us. We could see God's providence over our life and the many ways he has revealed himself to us after much doubting on our behalf. We got to see a small glimpse of the bigger picture and it spurs us to press on in the faith. Thank you Hampton Roads Fellowship for asking us to share and for your prayers.

I am encouraged to share how we came to be where we are now here on the blog so maybe it will help answer any questions some of you may have about our adoption specifically or just adoption in general. For everyone who has supported us in any way, we thank you so much. I tweeted this before the last Chick-fil-A Spirit night but truly, it is not even about the money sometimes. All the love and support we have received throughout this adoption journey is a blessing in itself! Thank you.

Why are we adopting? 

When Paul and I got married we always knew we wanted to have children and start a family.  When was always the question. If things went our way we probably would have had kids early on but the reality was we were still in school, had a lot of debt, and were very unsettled. We were living in North Carolina away from family the first year of marriage. So we pushed off having kids. Then, a few years ago and a few years into our marriage the question of having children came to heart.  Yet even then, our circumstances were not (in our opinion) the best conditions to start a family. This was troublesome on my heart and I am sure on my husband's as well because we knew how much we longed to start a family yet our heads and what could be seen on paper said that it just wasn’t adding up. Like all of us, we get so caught up in our own desires that we often fail to remember the promises of God. He tells us in the Bible that He is able to do more than we could ever ask for or imagine (Ephesians 3:20), that he has a plan for us (Jeremiah 29:11), and for those who love God all things work together for good (Romans 8:28).

It was two January’s ago and in the midst of all this longing for a family when God drew me to James 1:27 which says, "Religion that is pure and undefiled before God, the Father, is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world." I remember reading this thinking "Wow, I have read this verse so many times but what does this even me? Then, the conversation with God continued. I remember questioning, " Does this just mean visit orphans? Does this mean adoption? Does this mean we should adopt? God what are you saying? Adoption is so foreign to me. We don't have kids yet. Isn't adoption for after you have had kids or at least tried to? But, Stephanie and Aaron are adopting for their first child. Is this our call too?

I treasure this conversation with God. 

In that short but sweet moment, adoption became so familiar to me. I still had no clue of the details but my heart began to accept this call and I went with it. 

 I shared what had happened with Paul who was very supportive of the idea yet a bit hesitant which was expected because neither of us had an honest clue why God would call us to adopt. So, we spent the next six months in prayer which allowed God to teach us. During that time the Lord drew us to this wonderful book by Russell Moore called "Adopted For Life" and from reading it we finally connected the relationship between real adoption and the doctrine of adoption.We saw that adoption is both vertical (God’s adoption of us as sons) and horizontal (the adoption of children).

We believe that adoption on one hand is gospel. We believe that we have been adopted into God’s family, through his mercy he made a way for our sinful selves to be made pure and holy through His perfect sacrifice, Jesus Christ. Adoption as gospel tells us who we are as children of the Father. It tells us about our identity and our inheritance. In Christ, we now have a heritage that is eternal, not from our own doing but because God chose us to be his children. Adoption is also missional. Seen this way, adoption spurs us to join Christ in advocating for the helpless and the abandoned. Adopting a child is a very tangible way for us to portray that same picture here on earth.

So, after months of prayer and learning, our response to "should we adopt?" simply became "how could we not" and since then we've been working our way through the process. We are adopting locally and our agency, which is located in VA Beach, is truly amazing. Working with them has opened our eyes to a different side of adoption that we did not even think to consider in the beginning-the birth family. God has challenged us and grown in us a passion for this ministry.

This is pretty much where we are now. We are still raising money to reach our June deadline. I believe we need about $4,000 left. Thank you for reading and for supporting us with prayers and donations. If you have any questions or advice...please contact us. My email is espeight0405@gmail.com. We covet your prayers and encouragement greatly.

 But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ—by grace you have been saved— and raised us up with him and seated us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus,  so that in the coming ages he might show the immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus. For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God,  not a result of works, so that no one may boast. Ephesians 2:4-9


In other news... we just got word that our friends who have been waiting (over 800 days) to adopt from Ethiopia FINALLY got a call that they will be PARENTS! We are so thankful and are rejoicing with them during this time. You should check out their blog (link above) and read their journey to their baby girl. You will be blessed.

Five Years Since 'I Do'

On April 5th, Paul and I celebrated our five year wedding anniversary. We celebrated by going out to dinner (ate lobster for the first time, surprisingly) and went to a Norfolk Tides game. It was their season opener. They lost but it was still fun. The weather was perfect and I stuffed my face with cotton candy and funnel cake.

Five years ago we said we were going to celebrate our fifth anniversary with a special trip to Disney World or somewhere far but turns out God had other things planned for us like expecting a baby by means of adoption! So, dinner via a gift card and a baseball game was how we celebrated and it was perfect. I just love hanging out with my husband. We talked about our relationship, shared areas we wanted to work on, praised each other for our strengths and thanked God for intervening on our behalf and for the grace He gives to us daily.

The truth is, my husband and I are just sinners saved by grace. Neither of us are perfect or right all the time. We do not always love one another; we do not always love ourselves. We have weaknesses. We sin daily. We fail each other greatly. We both get lazy. We put other things before God and our marriage. We are selfish. Marriage is the good stuff, it is great but it is hard work because of all the things I listed above.

Yet, God, who is so rich in mercy and grace and love, gives us through the Holy Spirit and because of the work of Jesus Christ, the ability to press on and make "living as one flesh" a joyful experience. Our first five years were not perfect and full of happiness-if only you knew how badly we have hurt/disappointed each other you would get the full effect of what I am saying- but through every trial and for every good day we praise God for His providence over our life and for protecting our marriage. God uses marriage not so that we can be happy but holy. The ultimate goal of marriage and life at that is to be more conformed to the image of Christ. This is something we were both taught early on in our marriage but having little experience with marriage obviously made it difficult to grasp. Now, five years later we are a testimony to this truth. Marriage- the union of two broken and imperfect people- will bring out the worse in a person and only by Gods grace can those "hiccups" or deep pains of disappointment and bitterness or whatever it may be that happens in this union be completely transformed to something good and even greater than you could even imagine.

So, with that Paul and I rejoice as we have passed the five year mark. Lord willing, we look forward to many more years of being further sanctified as one flesh.


Our wedding verse was from Hababkuk 3:17-18,

Though the fig tree should not blossom,
    nor fruit be on the vines,
the produce of the olive fail
    and the fields yield no food,
the flock be cut off from the fold
    and there be no herd in the stalls,
¹⁸ yet I will rejoice in the Lord;
    I will take joy in the God of my salvation.

We need this reminder every day! That no matter what life may bring us we will rejoice in the Lord always. That above all other things like comfort, happiness, and all worldly desires, we would primarily take joy in God, the One who saves us. 

Shamrock Half 2013

Paul ran his third half marathon on St. Patrick's Day and achieved a PR! He shaved about two minutes off his previous record. Not too bad considering he had the stomach bug just three days prior and was unable to train the two months leading up to the race. 

It was a COLD race day and thankfully I had a place to sit inside. Every year, Pauls boss books the banquet room at the Hilton, which faces the finish line. It's perfect for the whole team to meet up before and after the race. Plus, lunch is included!

I'm so proud of Paul for pushing himself to stay healthy and fit. Next up, Tough Mudder!